In the New Year I will......

I have decided that I am going to ask my family that we all try not to say anything negative to, or about, someone inside of our home. I know this is a big, huge task, but I want us all to try.

For my own self, I am going to try not to say anything negative about any one, inside or outside my home. I am writing this because I want to be held accountable to all of you. This way I can share my journey and you all get to keep me on track! Are you up for the challenge?

I know I will still think things, but if I can keep them from coming from my mouth, I will have changed a part of my heart!

I ask my guardian angel to please help me, and God please send me the graces needed.

Anyone else willing to share their personal goal for next year?

Happy and Blessed New Year,to all of you. May God pour His blessings on you, your families and your communities!

Dale

I know that bury the dead is one of the works of mercy, and as a missionary of mercy, I am expected to do that. Unfortunately today we said goodbye to a gentleman who has been living at the mission for the last fifteen years.

Ironically, I met Dale about ten years ago on New Years day. It was our first New Year's at the mission as a family. There was a big dinner and anyone who wanted to come and have dinner was invited. Dave was working nights at the time, and that year it was his turn to work New Year's Eve, so he was sleeping but I took the kids to the dinner. My oldest was eleven, the youngest at that time was about two and I was pregnant with our seventh child. It was crowded but the food was plentiful and the kids and I were excited to be a part of it. We filled a table easily, and began to eat. Dale walked over with his meal and sat with us. I didn't know him. I had never even seen him before, but I thought he was really brave to sit with a large family, sprawling with kids. I even said to him, "You might regret sitting here. The kids can be rambunctious at times!" He just smiled and said he was happy to sit with a family.

I looked at his face. It was leathered, worn, and red, the kind of skin that alcoholics have. All his worldly possessions he carried in his backpack. He ate quietly, sometimes amused at the antics of my children, but he was content. He listened to our conversations and we passed him the condiments, asked him if he needed some pop, and basically just made him a part of our family for that meal. When we got up to leave, he thanked me for letting him sit with us. He said he hadn't been a part of a family for a long time, and it was nice to be with us.

Yeah, I went home and cried. I never forgot that. I didn't see him for awhile, and then for years I saw him all the time. He collected pop cans and bottles for a little income, and I think when he would see my van pull in, he knew that he had hit the jackpot!! There was always pop cans or bottles rolling around my floor. I would tell him, "I don't know how many I have, but you are welcome to any that I do have."

He started off calling me "Mrs.", but the last two years he called me Michelle. I would pull up for Mass or something that was going on, and he would smile, always greet me with a smile. This past year he was so sick, I thought we had lost him a few times, so when I did see him, I started giving him great big hugs. He told me I was holy. I just loved him. I could see the deep suffering, the years an addiction can take on a soul. I don't know his story, never will, I just loved him.

My guys at the mission, they see me as mom. Some let me hug them. Some just want me to listen and laugh at their stories. They just want to be loved. I can't judge them. I can't say "tsk, tsk. It's their own fault for drinking or drugging". One thing I have learned by being at the mission, we don't know what people carry with them. We don't know the pain of loss and hurts from childhood and beyond. I can't judge. Only love.

Dale was one of the men who have taught me how to love and not judge. In the world he was seen as a throwaway.

But to me, he was someone I loved.

Rest In Peace Dale.

Tyler's 16th Birthday

Today is my oldest son Tyler's birthday. His sixteenth birthday to be exact. He wanted to go to the Sabres game and the Anchor Bar for chicken wings. Everyone knows that Buffalo invented the deep fried chicken wing, and the Anchor Bar is the place that began it all. Yum!

The Sabres game was exciting. We were down three to zero, and then our guys started going to town. The game ended with us winning four to three. Totally and unbelievably awesome! What a game. And to be there at the arena was exciting too. The crowd was on fire after the first two goals for our team. So much fun.

Here in cold, cold Buffalo this is what we look forward to. It doesn't get any better than chicken wings and the Sabres. On your sixteenth birthday.

Tyler brought me back to hockey. When I was a little girl my dad would take me to the games. But then I lost my love of the game. Then I had a boy. And he is a sports fanatic. I am not into football at all. As a matter of fact, I hate football. Too complicated and too long.

But hockey moves fast. And doesn't last forever while the guys stand around in a huddle talking about what they are going to do after the game. That's what happens in football. BORING! Hockey moves. Plus they fight. Really whack each other sometimes. I love that. (It's my inner aggression being played out.)

So Tyler got me back into hockey and we all love it. As a family.

I can't believe that it has been sixteen years that I have had this boy in my life. I remember when I brought him home and walked him in the kitchen. I just stared at him and thought, "I have a little boy!" I was so very happy. I loved his little baby face, big blue eyes looking up at me.

Now he is so tall, I have to look up at him. And tonight, he let me hug him.

Happy Birthday Tyler Louis! I love you.

Singing the Praises of itunes!!!!

Today I am going to sing the praises of itunes/apple. But first I must tell you my sorry story.

My plan for today was going to be cleaning my room and doing laundry. Then my eleven year old, John Paul, reminded me that I told him that I would take him to Big Lots to check out their MP3 players. He only had a certain amount of Christmas money to spend and he really wanted one. I was not really convinced that we would be purchasing a quality product but off we went.

The woman behind the counter practically fell out laughing. Sold out. Long time ago. Try Kmart. Ok. Kmart is around the bend, so we went. Nothing left from the Christmas rush, and the after Christmas rush. Now I am looking at this boy's face. He was so disappointed. Well, what would it hurt me if we drove over to Target. So I called my oldest daughter Emily, gave her instructions for lunch and headed the van in the direction of Target.

"Mom, I know this wasn't what you had planned for your day, but thank you for driving me around." He said this so sadly and sweetly. My heart broke and melted at the same time. I was now on a mission to find this boy an inexpensive MP3 player!

Target did not have what he wanted in his price range either. So I bought us a popcorn and two pops and said, "Let's go to Best Buy".

As he was getting into the van he tripped and spilled his pop all over the van floor. I could see in his face, he was about to cry. The tears were welling up. I said very gently,"It's okay Johnny, here, share mine."

So we were on our way to Best Buy, he was holding our bag of popcorn, and I took a rough turn, and wouldn't you know, the popcorn falls. I kid you not, this boy was having a really bad day. And now the tears came. I said, "John, this was not your fault. It was mommy's fault. And you only spilled a little. Don't be upset. Mommy is not upset with you. Don't worry."

Now I begin praying that I can find an inexpensive MP3 player that I can afford to help him out with, cause there was no way I was going to let that boy go home without one!!

So we get to Best Buy, and there was something he could be happy about, and I chipped in, started him off with a $15 itunes giftcard and we happily drove home. He was so excited because it had a lot of features he wanted, even though it wasn't a touch screen, (which is what he was looking for, but only having $70 in Christmas money, could not afford) and he was very satisfied with his purchase.

Now for most people this would be their happy ending, but, alas, we are Marciniaks so there is always more to the tale. I went off to do laundry and John Paul went off to use my computer to start using his itunes card. A short while later, Tyler calls to me, and tells me that John Paul used a butter knife to rub off the activation number. You know that area on the back of a gift card that says, "Gently rub with coin", the operative words being "gently" and "coin"! Yeah. He massacred it.

One hour on the computer, three phone calls and an email later, I sent a message to someone at the itunes, apple company. My dear hubby had an itunes giftcard for $15 that he had received for Christmas so he gave it to John until our issue was resolved.

And now this is why I love itunes/apple. Less than 2 hours later, I had a response in my email with our number, (there was a code on the bottom of the card that I had emailed in and from that they could get my activation code) and thanks to a very friendly worker named Charlie, my hubby typed in the number and received our credit to itunes! I love them and I want you all to love them too. What a great company! They were awesome!

And I did get my bedroom clean and some laundry done.

Yep, super mom wins again!

It's a Wonderful, Wonderful Life

My life has been crazy busy. But in a good way. Our Christmas was awesome. I will begin our Christmas journey tonight by writing about the eve of Christmas Eve. I baked cookies until 4am. I had so much fun! I listened to Delilah until midnight and then just Christmas music.

I made cookies for fourteen families. That's a lot of cookies. Well, some families. But also the men's residence at the mission, for homeless men. And the residence for men in recovery. Also the residence where the missionary women care for children of single moms. Let's just say, it takes a whole heck of a lot of cookies to make enough for everyone that I give cookies to. Hence the reason why I was up until 4am baking them. Wouldn't have it any other way.

I make mexican wedding cakes, hello dollies, thumbprints, peanut butter blossoms and turnover cookies. My turnover cookies are the biggest hit. I don't even know why I bother making anything else. That's all anyone ever wants. They are good.

It's a cream cheese dough and in the middle is either, pineapple, strawberry, or raspberry preserves. Oooh, they are good! Shaped like turnovers. Mini turnovers.

Delicious.

Like the Sabres win tonight. Absolutely delicious.

Oops. Forgot to Bless Another Faithful Reader

Merry Christmas to Kimberly! God bless you and your precious family!

Special Merry Christmas Blessings

Having a fun day playing board games with the kids. So only enough time to say a special Christmas wish for three new friends I have made in blogger world. God's peace, joy and blessings to Anne, Allison and Christopher. Looking forward to "conversing" even more with you in the new year. Plus reading more of Anne's prose, hearing all about Allison's wedding, and watching Christopher cry as the Caps lose and the Sabres win the Stanley!