Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Stupid, stupid commercials

This post is totally going to be for my own ranting, raving and venting. If you agree with my viewpoints, great, if you don't, oh well. This is my blog!!!

Sometimes when I am folding laundry I will watch the food channel or travel channel, just something mindless because Lord knows the children aren't going to leave me alone long enough for me to pray while I am doing mundane tasks, so I put on mindless tv. And then I have to put up with the dumbest commercials ever. Now there are plenty that make me laugh but there are some that I don't know what the producers were thinking, what they were trying to get at, but failed miserably.

On the top of the list is a commercial for Wal-Mart. Now don't get me wrong, I love Wal-Mart. I shop there often. But this commercial is so insulting to husbands, I just want to spit. The wife with a smug look on her face goes out and buys steaks for dinner, because Wal-Mart's prices are so reasonable, it doesn't even have to be a special occasion for her to go out and get steaks for her and the hubster. Now here is exactly why there are way too many people divorcing in America. Instead of her happily telling her hubby that "We can have steaks today dear, no I didn't take out a loan, no sweety, I shop at Wal-Mart where the steaks are a reasonable price. Aren't I such a good wife?" No, no, the smug little witch is watching her poor husband who slaved at work all day, who will take her smelly garbage out later, who will cut the grass and do all the little stupid things she wants done around the house, she is watching him squirm because he thinks it must be a special anniversary that he forgot about. I mean, the guy can't believe that the old bag would actually get something special for dinner, much less cook it. (She works too you know!!) He can't even enjoy the special dinner she made because he is worried that the shrew will be mad that he forgot the special occasion. So he sits chewing nervously because he has no clue. Hope it was money well spent.

Then there are all those blasted birth control commercials. In this day and age, when women are wondering why they can't get pregnant, they are now coming up with birth control pills that only give you a period every three months. In the commercial the women keep saying"Who says you have to have your period every month, who, who?" My answer that I scream at the tv, "GOD" that's who. Let's see how many of these women end up with fertility problems. We want organic celery but by God, I better not have my period more than four times a year! Give me a pill to make it happen, and pass the organic veggie platter.

Then there is the commercial for the vaccination against hpv. According to the commercial, if you really, really love your daughter and want to prevent her from getting cervical cancer someday, well, you will get her vaccinated right now. What kind of horrid mother wouldn't want that for her child? I mean, anyone can get hpv right? Wrong. They never tell you that the only way you can get this is by sexual intercourse. Well, you know your thirteen year old is probably doing it already anyway. I mean they have thrown teen pregnancy at us, sexually transmitted diseases and now cervical cancer. Sigh, what's a mother to do? Well, at least for this one they have a vaccine. Now every mother can feel like she has done her part to protect her daughter, that and a packet of birth control pills will get you a free trip to hell. In a hand basket.

Okay. Let's go to something a little more light hearted. Still focusing on moms, but now it is about your child's eating habits. How about the commercial with the mom wheeling her little girl through the supermarket? Mom says, "Let's get some chicken." The little girl says "I don't like chicken". Who doesn't like chicken? Next mom goes for the broccoli, and the little girl says, "I don't like broccoli." Who doesn't like broccoli? I have kids who won't touch peas, but they will eat broccoli raw. So what does this little Varruca Salt want? She wants one of those drinks that is supposed to give your child their daily dose of everything she needs. Big smile on her face. Mom goes off to get waffles, and this child says, "I don't like waffles." Okay, I am sorry, but mom must be the most awful cook in the world. What child known to mankind doesn't like waffles. My 15 year old son eats multiple Eggos everyday. But here is this whiny child who only wants to drink the child's equivalent of Ensure. She would rather drink this non food item, then a waffle. With syrup. Sugar, child, what is wrong with you? When we have waffles for dinner, my kids are like,"Wow, breakfast for dinner with a sugar boost!". What could be better? Mom says it's ok. This child in the commercial is not normal. Sorry guys. Ain't gonna buy it.

Okay. So that is my list for right now of annoying commercials. Feel free to list some of yours. I would love to hear them. I might have forgotten some and I would love to agree with you.

Gotta go do some more laundry. Think I will listen to the radio.


  1. Hahaha! Thanks for sharing this. You know I hate those dumb birth control pill and hpv commercials too. There's no way that only having a period 3 times a year is safe. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. I'd really love to see a long-term study done by a 3rd party to look at the fertility of women and how it's affected by birth control. I just can't buy that taking BC for so long is healthy.

    My least favorite commercial of all times is this dumb Arby's commercial. The husband (I assume) is sitting in bed at night and is waiting for his wife (again I assume) to come out of the bathroom. She comes out with a plate of I think a Roast Beef sandwich. And the guy goes "Me likey" and an Arby's sign (you know that hat or whatever it is) pops up above his head along with the sound "Boinggg"

    Uhhh yeah.. tell me that's not some sort of innuendo?? It's disgusting and enough to make me never eat at Arby's again.

  2. I forgot about that one Allison! I hate that one too. You almost can't watch tv with your little ones. I can find safe programming but sometimes the commercials are R rated.

  3. Oh, my goodness, too bad that TV is sooooo boring and insulting!

    I wonder if you would rather read about America's newest saint?

  4. This post was great! I agree, especially with the BC one. When the woman says "Who says you have to have your period every month?" my husband and I both looked at each other and said "God!", too!Thanks for the laugh!

  5. Hahaha!!! The Wal-Mart and picky kid ones I have seen... but especially hate the HPV and Pill ones. I thought pumping your body full of enough hormones to stop your period for months is just plain CREEPY.

  6. Ok, I know this is an old post, but I just had to comment. I DESPISE the erectile dysfuction commercials. It's bad enough my kids would like to listen to crappy radio stations, but to have my 12 year old girl going around singing "Viva Viagra"? Are you kidding me? She doesn't even know what it is. I am so so sick of commercials. They are as disgusting as the latest tv shows out. My husband and I are seriously considering selling all tvs in our home and buying one new one for the living room for our dvd games and movies. I wish there was a commercial time limit (for all the crazy ones). From 10pm - 5am. What you think?