Friday, December 4, 2009
Love Is Not Irritable
This happens when I am tired. I become very, very irritable. It's not pretty. In fact my dearest husband was just looking over my shoulder as I wrote this and said, "Yeah, ain't that the truth". Don't laugh, it only encourages him.
But it also happens when we have an agenda, an idea of how something should be, or will be. And then others actually have the audacity to put in their own wants and desires and totally blow us out of the water. What is really hilarious, is when God has His own plan, and He wins over us. Then we get cranky. Ugly. Not real pleasant to be around.
This is really a fight between us and the devil. I always know it's him because I am usually tired, or hungry, or both when I am irritable. The devil wants to weaken me, so that my pride kicks in and says, (in a whiney voice) "This is not the way it should be, and I work hard, and I deserve better, and I am hungry, and tired. And I wish those kids would stop making so much noise. And where is their father anyway!!!!"
So then I am snippy to all around me. Cause things didn't work out the way I had planned. The operative word, "I", "Me". It's not about me. It's about God.
God first. Me last. His agenda. Not my own.
Again, it is that being able to let things slide. To be able to say, "Oh well, I didn't plan it this way, but this is what I have. Might as well smile"
Or go get some sleep and start again tomorrow. If I can keep my mouth closed, pray about it, sleep on it, and then make a decision, I am always the better for it.
One thing I have come to learn about myself, when I am tired, I am emotional. Not a good mixture! It's like lighting a match next to gas rags, some one's gonna get hurt, and it could very well be me!
Once again, PRIDE, PRIDE, and more PRIDE. I am finding out that pride is like the bulls eye in the center, and all other bad habits and sinful behavior are the outer rings. I just keep going around and then smack dab in the middle is the cause of my failings.
And that is one bulls eye you don't want to get one hundred points for. Put down the darts, and back away. Slowly.