Thursday, December 3, 2009

Love is Thoughtful, Love is not Rude

For those of you following me on my advent journey, you missed yesterday's thought. Yesterday was love is thoughtful. Today was love is not rude.

All of this thinking about love, left me pondering today. During my Adoration I had a real epiphany. I was thinking about how people in general, but especially myself, need to just let things go sometimes. Why do I always feel like I have to be right? Why do I have to have the last word? If we sometimes just ignored things that bothered us, for the sake of loving the other person, wouldn't our world be more peaceful? If I stopped taking everything personal, and just loved, wouldn't that make the world a better place?

It's not saying that it's right for others to do wrong against us. But if we always gave others the benefit of the doubt, or even just admitted to ourselves that, "yeah, they shouldn't have done or said that" but I am just going to let it slide for once, wouldn't that make me a more loving person?

Maybe sometimes it is not thoughtful to point out to someone that they hurt our feelings. Maybe they really didn't mean to do it. Even if they did, would it kill me to not say anything and just let it go? And can you imagine how I could really blow some one's mind if they knew they had done something wrong, and I loved them anyway?

Maybe it is more rude of me to point out something someone did, than the actual thing the person did. Maybe it is more thoughtful to love and forgive immediately.

I think it is. I think that is what God wants us to do. As hard as that seems, I think if I am truly loving, and truly humble I can at least try to do this. If you really, really love someone, you will do anything for that person. And today, sitting in Adoration, I realized that means forgiving the stupid piddily things, as well as the big ones. As soon as I can. I don't expect that I will be able to do it right away, this will take some work, and a lot of God's graces, but it can be done.

I look at many of the saints, and I see that they did it easily and not so easily. That will be me. Sometimes it will be smooth like "buttah" and other times, like a roller coaster from hell. I am up for the challenge.

I am going to be pondering this some more. I think I am finally getting it. My spiritual director has been trying to teach me this for years. I am a slow learner, but then again, I know I had to go through what I did so I could really learn it in my head and my heart. Now it will stick, and I have graduated with a degree in love.

I am now working on my Master's degree.


  1. This is beautiful. I'd like to share this with the sisters with whom I live. One evening a week we have faith sharing about the goals we have set for our life together. Ours have a lot to do with relationship. Next week it's my turn to plan it and I'd like to use this post of yours as a reflection if that's OK with you.

  2. well I have been thinking of this for a long time. I deal with this all the time from a family memeber that often says extremeley rude comments to me...My problem is I have been just forgiving for a very very long time and I wonder if this person sees this as reasons to just take advantage of me at this point.. Its very hard to know where to draw the line.

  3. Sister Ann-please feel free to use it! I would be honored. Kimberly- it is very hard. But read the saints. They put up with so much. And I always go back to Jesus saying we have to forgive seventy times seven. In your most humiliating moments, think of Jesus being spat at. He did not deserve it! Offer up every single moment of humiliation for Him. When you are red in the face and getting angry, say in your heart, "Don't let a drop of this go to waste. Use it all Lord". I guarantee you, that you will joyfully get through those moments. When it's all over, find a space, even if it is the bathroom and cry to Jesus. (I know you're situation is difficult right now, but even if you say you have to run to the store for milk, do it and cry in the car.) And I will be praying for you. Also, always pray before you know you are going to see that person, ask Jesus to cover it with His precious blood. God bless you sweety. Oh, and lastly, you convict people by the way you live. You are following Jesus, people's hearts are convicted and they lash out.