Happy 20th Anniversary and one heck of a week!

On Wednesday my hubby and I celebrated 20 years of wedded bliss. We took a look back, but mostly we looked forward as we always do. I am blessed because my husband and I work as a team. We look at our goals, our future and we work on it together.

He is my best friend. In the whole world. There are things I can tell him that I could never tell anyone else. And he doesn't think I am an awful woman for saying them. He makes me laugh more than anyone ever has. He taught me how to laugh at myself. That was hard for me. I have always been such a serious person and even though I still am to a point, he taught me how to not take things so seriously all the time. He is the funniest man. Sometimes it scares me how his mind works! The kids don't always understand his humor, but they start laughing when I start laughing. He has gotten me going at the dinner table, and I will be laughing so hard I am crying, the kids start laughing at the way I am laughing.

We went out to a fancy dinner for our anniversary and we had a wonderful time. We love to eat. We do it up right. The whole nine yards. And we talk, and we laugh and we enjoy each other. He pretends to be embarressed when I tell our waiter how long we have been married and how many kids we have, but I know secretly he loves when I do that. And this time my dessert was free because of it being our anniversary.

I am so proud that we have been married for 20 years. We have a really good marriage. Not because we are supernatural people or extra special. It is because from day one we made Christ the center of our marriage. We both make a decision everyday to love one another, because that is what love is, a decision. We are blessed because we have romance and companionship and sparks after 20 years. But we have had tough times, tired times, times when the kids or life, wore us down. But we always knew we were in it together. Forever. I really love my husband.

I can't imagine going through with anyone else what he and I have been through. When my dad passed away unexpectedly, Dave was my rock. My best friend. He let me cry and laugh and go through memories. I didn't want to be held those first few days, I just wanted to sit in my rocker and talk. My husband sat across from me in his chair and listened to me. For hours. And then he added his own fun memories of my dad, and we cried together. My best friend. My love.

On Thursday, the very next day after our 20th anniversary, our little 4 year old Teresa broke her leg. And there we were again, holding on to each other, he was my rock, my stability. He calms me. Just by his presence. Together we got through another family crisis. And together we will get through the next four weeks as Teresa's leg heals and she deals with her cast.

We are partners Dave and I. We promised each other over 20 years ago that we would be forever.

And I am a blessed woman. God must really love me because He gave me the best man for me to love forever and ever.

Hope and pray we have another 30! I love you Dave.

Friends are Blessings

I am so blessed in my life. I have collected over the years some wonderful girlfriends.

I know, collected is a strange word to use regarding friends. But each one is a precious treasure to me. And some have been in my life forever, and some just a few months, and some are in between those two times. They are all different, like jewels in a jewelry box and each one adds something different to my life.

One of my longest friendships is with my friend Marne. I believe we have known each other for about 28 or 29 years. We have lost touch from time to time, but when we pick it back up, it is like we never had that space of time between us. We are both understanding of each other's busy lives, so this is a great friendship. We only see each other in person every few years for breakfast/lunch. Or should I say, breakfast that turns into lunch cause we sat there for so long talking!! The internet has been a blessing for us because we now email each other every day. This has been going on for a few years now, with a couple of breaks here and there, but then we pick it back up again and talk like we never had a break. Marne and I have been through alot together and we have been blessed to see each others marriages flourish and grow. We both were blessed with great guys and our communication with each other is usuallly regarding what is going on in our families. We cried by email together when our oldest daughters, first hers, then mine, went off to college. Both of us pride ourselves on the relationships we have with our daughters and we share a special bond in that. I love Marne with all of my heart. She is my forever friend that has lasted the test of time. We share our faith all the time, I met her in the parish I grew up in, and we pray for each other always.

The friend that makes me laugh the most, hands down, is my friend Heather. We have known each other for ten years now, and I have seen her grow tremendously as a woman, wife and mother. I was in her wedding party and I was honored to be asked. My thrill though, is watching her grow in her duties as wife and mother of three, soon to be four. But the best thing, is that when I have had a crummy day, all I need to do is talk with Heather and I will be laughing until I cry or pee my pants, or both! We are both on Facebook now, and let me tell you, this has made my day happier. I can see her funny comments all day long now, or we can instant message each other and I swear late at night it is a wonder I don't wake up everyone in my house because I am laughing so hard at something she wrote or said to me through instant messaging. Heather has the ability to make me laugh so hard I start shaking with laughter. My house moves. Yes, she is that funny. You know the kind of person that can always think of something funny to say in an instant. I am still thinking of a comeback and Heather puts out one zinger after the other. She is funny and delightful and very special to me. I was blessed ten years ago by the sound of her beautiful singing voice and through that, God made us friends. I love her so much and she is truly a blessing. She is the sister I always wanted.

The last friend I wanted to talk about today, is my most recent friend. I was so blessed this past September when I decided to bring my kids to the school at the mission and help out with the younger grades. I never expected it to be as much fun as it is. The reason why it is so much fun is the teacher I help. Her name is Pam and she is the most wonderful person. It is always great when you get along with the people you work with, but I never expected to find a new friend. Pam has become a very good friend. We laugh, we cry, we roll our eye balls at the children's meltdowns. I sometimes, quite honestly, want to slap some of the people in her life because I don't think they realize how wonderful she is, how very special she is, what a gem they have in their midst. I know she isn't always treated as well as she should be but maybe that is why God put us together. I love to be around her, and I love to work with her. I love to bug her on weekends and in the evenings with texts and messages on facebook. She is a fun friend and a fun person. She is so good with the kids and has way more patience than I do. She is so kind, one of the most kindest people I have ever met. I am so blessed to be her friend and I look forward to many years of friendship with her. She is an awesome woman and I love her very much.

These are just three friends that I am thankful for today. Women are blessed creatures because we appreciate friends so much more than men do, and we need our girlfriends. Having a husband has taught me that they definitely do not have the same needs as us, and every wise wife learns very early that her husband cannot fulfill all her needs. That's why we have girlfriends. Our girlfriends will listen to us whine and they whine back. Husbands want to fix the problem. After 20 years of marriage my husband STILL does not understand the concept of " I just need to vent". His brain cannot understand that, it just does not compute for him. He wants to beat the tar out of the person who hurt me. I just want to ruminate about it for several hours. There have been a few screaming matches between hubby and I that started out as me venting to him and the next thing you know, I am angrier with him than I was with my original problem. As I sit in my rocker fuming, I think " Why didn't I just call......" fill in the blank with a friend's name. Girlfriends are a necessity of life, they are our kindred spirits.

So let's be thankful today ladies. And give your peeps a hug.

The Sacrificial Life

This one is easy for me. I am a stay at home mom. We know all about sacrifice. We gave up our careers to stay at home and be with our little ones. And I can honestly say that I do it without resentment. I love being with my kids. It breaks my heart when I drive by a day care center and see a mom carrying her little child in. I couldn't do it.

I have been a wife for twenty years and a mom for 19. That is alot of years of sacrifice. Don't believe what they tell you, newlyweds. Marriage is not 50/50. If it is to go well and not end in divorce, it is 100/100. You have to give all. I give all of myself to my husband, and he gives all of himself to me.

But in today's world, suffering and sacrifice are such bad words. You shouldn't be giving too much of yourself, because, oh horror, you might lose yourself! You must find your inner self and nourish it and pamper it at a spa.

Now, I am not against treating yourself or finding some time alone to pamper. We all need a rest, a break. But some people think this should be their life. A life of ease. But that is not what God wants. He wants us to depend on Him. He wants us to give to others until there is nothing left so He can fill us up and we can start all over again. He wants us to lose ourselves because then we gain HEAVEN!

And as far as I can tell, heaven is gonna be a much better place than any spa could ever be.

Do we have to do huge things to gain heaven? No. My very favorite saint is Saint Therese. I have loved her since I was a little girl. She believed that doing little things with great love was the way to go. If your job was to sweep the floor, sweep it the best that you can with love and joy in your heart. Offer it up to God. That mound of laundry that you have been stepping over. Do it with happiness, ok, maybe just not so much grumbling, and thank God that your family has clothes for you to wash!

What is our biggest obstacle to sacrifice? Our PRIDE. Think about it. I pretty much have figured out in my 48 years of life that everything comes back to my pride. All of my sins in some way are rooted in my pride. As soon as I think that I am too good for something, well, there goes my pride rearing it's ugly head. "I don't want to sacrifice for that person. They don't deserve it. They are nasty to me, they get all the attention, they have it all........". Fill in your own words.

Pride, pride, pride. Jesus always taught that we should seek the last place, the lowliest seat at the table, be the last one in line. St. Faustina says in her diary that we should always think of others as better than ourselves. If we do that then sacrificing for others is easy. But not a woe is me, I am a scumbag type of thing. But I am just a little child, just a little servant of God, do with me as You will kind of person.

St. Therese wanted to be a child's toy in the hands of Jesus, something He played with. Blessed Mother Teresa wanted to be a pencil in God's hands.

Me, I want to be a marker. Making the world more colorful, and I don't worry about mistakes, because God can make beautiful things with a marker, even when I make mistakes.

He can make it beautiful. I supply the sacrifices, He turns it into a work of art.

God is a good God!

Peace

Fr. Jack is truly inspired. When you look at the three things he said to work on this year, joy and peace just naturally go together.

When you are full of joy, you will be peaceful. Because when you are joyful, you are happy with your life. You are satisified and grateful for what you have. You are not looking around at what others have that you don't. You are content with what God has given you. You can't be joyful if you are feeling robbed of things you want. If you are joyful, you are at peace.

This one is hard for me because I am a worrier by nature. I am worried about things that have happened, I worry about things that may happen, I worry about what people think of me, of how people see me. You can't be that worried and peaceful at the same time. Working on it!!

I have noticed that the more joyful I become, the more at peace I am. I am becoming more and more content where the Lord leads me. Wherever I am sitting, who I am with, who I am talking to or riding with, or things I have been asked to do, more and more I find contentment in where the Lord has me.

And I notice that I am more at peace. And it is more fun!!! When you are happy, joyful, at peace, content, life is better! I see myself everyday becoming more and more like the people I admire. But most importantly, I am becoming more and more the person God wants me to be.

Because God does not want me to be discontent with my life. He gave me this life and He thought it was a pretty good one for me! Who am I to second guess my Creator. More and more I delight in the life He has given me. I find peace in Him.

Jesus has become my peace. If I keep my eyes on Him, if I trust Him, if I truly believe that He wants what is best for me, EVEN IF IT LOOKS WAY DIFFERENT THAN MY NEIGHBOR'S LIFE!!!!!! That is okay. This is the life He gave to me.

We must be content. That is the bottom line. Once I started being content and grateful for my life, then I became more peaceful. I try to start every morning now with my armor of gratitude. I call it my armor, because if I put on a spirit of gratitude as I start off my day, it helps me to stay focused on God and I start the day right away with an attitude of thanksgiving. If I am too busy thanking God for everything in my life, there is no room for "stinkin thinkin". My mind and heart are busy and full of God's goodness.

Like a child I approach the day with a sense of "what exciting things will happen today?"!

And on this special day, 17 years ago, God blessed me with my second beautiful daughter, Elizabeth Grace Marciniak.

Happy Birthday Liz, thanks for all the laughs you give me. Thanks for being my right hand woman. I love you.

Be at peace y'all.

Joy part 2

I had the pleasure these last couple of days to spend some time watching my missionary sisters and brothers in their joy.

There are three in particular that are total inspirations to me.

The first is my new sister, Sandy. She just joined us as a missionary but she has been a part of the mission for years. Sandy is full of joy. In fact, if you look the word up in the dictionary I just know her picture is there. Because Sandy is one of the most joy filled people I know. She is always smiling. She always has a good word to say. If you give her a compliment, she always returns it with a compliment back. I see her everyday working hard, but she does it with such grace and joy. Always a smile. You can tell that she is a person who just does not let things bother her. I know she must have concerns and worries like the rest of us, but I really think that her trust in God just makes her always looking toward the bright side of life. She just refuses to let things get her down. What an inspiration to me! When I grow up, I want to be just like her!

Second is my brother Dave. He always sees God in everything. He is in charge of our RCIA program, (one of many jobs he holds down at the mission), and this past week only 2 of our people showed up for the weekly lesson. This did not deter Dave at all. We went into the church and he taught us all about the art work, the meaning of the different paintings, and lessons about the saints that line our walls in the church. You would have thought he was teaching a class of twenty. The joy on his face was amazing. He was so happy as he talked about the meaning behind so many things in our church. His face just beamed with joy. Literally. It was almost as if he couldn't contain himself. I am so happy to be working with him. I hope I can learn how to be more like him.

Third is my brother Eddy. Eddy walks around the mission talking, laughing and joking with everyone he meets. Each person that encounters him walks away feeling like they are important. He loves to make people laugh. And the funniest thing is that when he tells his stories, he laughs as hard as the person he is telling it to. He is joy. He is a joy to be around, he is a joy to others. Eddy gives me the best hugs in the world. He sings and plays guitar and we could all be in the middle of something and he will just start singing his praise to God. When Eddy sings you almost feel like you are really a part of something very intimate between Eddy and God. He has an awesome voice and he writes the best songs. He is the best big brother a girl could ever have.

I am studying them. I think that is what we should do. We should study the people in our lives who are full of joy and then try to be more like them. So I am taking a course in joy, and for the next few weeks I am going to study those three. And I am going to pray for the grace to be more like them.

I thank God for putting them in my life. What a joy they are to all of us. What a blessing.

Thank You God for Sandy, Dave and Eddy. God bless all my missionary brothers and sisters.

Amen.

Joy

On Divine Mercy Sunday, this past Sunday, our priest at the mission, Fr. Jack, gave a slam dunk homily.

Fr. Jack likes to make three points in his homily. This time he talked about how the missionaries and everyone present needed to work on three things in the coming year. He spoke of how we needed to be more joyful, more peaceful and more sacrificial.

Afterwards I heard some of the missionaries saying that they had the joy and peace stuff down, but the sacrificial was hard for them.

Not me. Today I am going to start with joy. Being joyful. Under all circumstances.

THAT IS NOT EASY!

Especially for me. I don't know about any of you ladies, (sorry guys, skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to hear about hormones), but sometimes my hormones will not let me feel joy. Let me just say one word here: menapause. It ain't easy. I never know if I want to cry or be angry. How can a person be joyful when everyone around her is doing things on purpose to tick her off?! I mean come on. 5 males in the house and not a one knows how to put down a toilet seat.

But I digress. My problem is this. I am emotional. Can't help it. Been that way all of my life. I inherited it from my mother and her side of the family. Now by the grace of God, I am doing much better. Many healings and grace-filled moments later, and I am a much different woman. Yet I can still let my feelings get the best of me, and I lose my joy.

Oh, I always start out okay. I will be serving with laughter and joy, and then, WHOMP. The devil comes in and pulls the rug out from underneath me. And I let him. You think I wouldn't still be falling for his same old tricks. There are alot of times when I don't. I just tell him to go back to hell where he belongs and I continue serving with love. But there are still too many moments where he can still get me. He knows which buttons to push.

I pray to St. Michael. Ask my guardian angel to help me. But there I will be, with a grim look on my face and really bad thoughts in my heart and mind.

Then I go home and get mad at myself. Why did I let him get to me? What a failure I am.

Not really. God doesn't see me as a failure. He sees me trying and when I fall, I can come to Him and He will hold me and let me know that I am loved. Then He expects me to go out and try again.

Because we are never failures as long as we get up and try again. Even if we try over and over. Sometimes we will serve each other with joy. Sometimes we will let envy, jealousy, and pride literally steal our joy.

We need to keep our eyes on the cross. If I keep my eyes on Jesus then I can remember Who I am doing it for, and Who is with me. I am never alone.

I see my eyes straying all the time. I am such a weak human being. We all are. But He chooses the weak and the foolish to do His work. To do His work with joy.

One day at a time. Today I choose to follow You. As for me and my house, we will serve You.

With joy.

Earth Day and Litter Bugs

I am going to take full advantage that today is earth day and get up on my soapbox about one of my biggest pet peeves.

People who throw garbage out their car windows as they are driving.

ATTENTION: the world is not your garbage can.

I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but no. No it is not.

I have seen a man throwing out his partially eaten ice cream cone out his window while he was driving. I could tell that he really wasn't into his double chocolate dip with rainbow sprinkles on a regular cone. So he tossed it.

I have seen banana peels, take out bags, cups of pop, and my own personal favorite, candy and gum wrappers flying out of people's windows.

I won't even get started on smokers that throw out their still lit butts out the window.

I will have a sign someday that I will have for such occasions that will say:

"Hey, you, moron, the world is not your garbage can!"

Okay, not really. That would not be so merciful. But I can think it can't I?
Today we were all supposed to turn out the lights for one minute at nine and sing kumbaya or something.
Instead we should have been watching a video on what our streets look like because of the slobs who throw crud out their windows.

So what is the answer. I don't know but boy I would love to sentence some of these people to twenty hours of cleaning up the streets of Buffalo. Maybe cleaning someone else's burger bags, used kleenex and rotting take out food would make them stop doing it themselves.

But probably not. So mothers of small children, set a good example for your kids and teach them to take care of this great land God created. Garbage goes in garbage bags. Keep one in your precious sports car and stop polluting our world!

Or you will have a mad woman behind you in a 12 seater van. And I know how to use it!!

Happy Birthday Joseph!

Today my seventh child is nine years old. It is a wonderful day and it will be a happy one because that is Joey.

Joe is one of the sweetest kids I have. I think when he was a toddler I only had to spank him maybe once, if that. He has always been a good kid. Very quiet, very sweet, very loving. We tease him when he says he has to go to confession because the boy never does anything wrong. He'll say, "I have one sin that I have to confess". The boy is so good that he will tell us when he needs confession, unlike his siblings who have to be dragged kicking and screaming to confession while I tell them how many times they need to confess being disobedient to mom and dad!

So today is my Joseph's birthday. I have to admit, I love the kid. He has the deepest brown eyes that a mom falls in love with. He always has a smile for me. I never want to see him get hurt. The other day I had to take him to the dentist and he had to have some cavities taken care of, I stood behind the dentist and I almost cried. Joe was great. I was having panic attacks. I knew it had to be uncomfortable for him, but he was a trooper. I on the other hand, felt like I needed a valium when it was all over.

I know there are moms who wonder how you can have enough love for so many kids. But I see each one of mine as a special treasure that God has given me. They are as different as nine children can be. Each one has his or her own personality and specialness. In our family we make a big deal out of each person's birthday. A really big deal. It is their special day. King or Queen of the day.

Today it is Joe's turn to be the King. And we will all let him know how special he is to our family.

I know that God blessed me nine years ago today with a very special little baby boy. And I thank God for him. I love my Joey.

If you are reading this say a prayer for Joseph. He wants to be a priest when he grows up.

Happy Birthday Joseph Daniel. Mommy loves you.

Another Year.........

It's Divine Mercy Sunday and my husband and I are making our promises for another year as missionaries. This will be our fifth year as missionaries. It took us five years to get to the point of wanting to make that commitment and now here we are, our fifth anniversary as missionaries!

My husband Dave doesn't get excited anymore. He's a guy. For him it is like, "yeah, another year. Same as last."

But my heart stills pounds as I walk up to the altar when my name is called. The excitement of saying "yes" to God for another year. The honor of being able to serve His poor. And it gets better every year.

It's fun to walk through the mission and have people call out, "hi mama". They all think of me as mama because of the crowd of children I usually have around me. But I also think it is because I take the time to hug and touch and talk to people. We all want to be loved.

But mostly, they want to be recognized as a person. A human being. In a world where people walk past them all the time and don't even notice that they are there.

We don't just do it to the poor. We do it to each other. We are all too busy. Too busy to smile as we walk by. Too busy to say hello. If we recognize the person we are walking past, well, they might want to stop and talk, and we don't have time for that. Gotta meeting, gotta shop, gotta go.

Maybe I am going to be simplistic here, but what if we all started treating each other with a little more respect and kindness? Would we have less shootings? Less killing of our children?

If we started treating each other as human beings maybe we would start acting like one.

I don't know.

All I can say is that today, I will stand before God and my brothers and sisters, and I will promise to love and show mercy to, all I meet. I promise to see His face in all those I serve.

I promise to see His face........

Susan Boyle and other things of beauty

Susan Boyle is a big news item today. And I am hoping that the lesson we learned, world wide, stays with all of us for a very long time.

In today's society we judge people on looks and that is what happened to Susan Boyle. But she opened her mouth to sing, and it was a thing of beauty.

What we need to learn here, in my humble opinion, is not that people are only worth something if they entertain us, but, that we all have beauty inside of us. Because God created us. Hello.

Remember that old 70's saying; God made me, and He don't make junk!

Okay, so I always hated that corny saying, but it is true. And if He made me and He made you, well then, ain't none of us junk!!!

Sin comes into things and makes us a mess, but in our purity, we are so beautiful.

Susan Boyle showed us beauty in purity. Beauty in its purest form. Childlike and trusting. Not minding that people were laughing. She came to do something and it didn't matter that people were laughing at her and mocking her. She simply came to sing.

And she taught us all a lesson.

She reminds me of someone. Someone else who was laughed at and scorned. Someone else who was mocked and made little of. Judged.

Maybe someday we will get it.

The innocent, the trusting, the pure of heart. They will be in God's kingdom before the rest of us.

God bless Susan Boyle.

Good Friday

Today is a day when we remember the greatest sacrifice ever made. Jesus gave His life for us.

Sadly, sacrifice and suffering today are considered bad things. Giving of yourself for someone else is seen as the wrong thing to do. "Think of yourself, take care of yourself. Have a cup of tea, a glass of wine, do some yoga and meditate about all of the good things you are to the universe".

What a selfish bunch of garbage.

I am so glad that Jesus, who is God, didn't see all of this selfishness and decide not to die for us all. Thank You Jesus, for giving of yourself, for suffering for us, even though we don't deserve one drop of Your blood to fall.

In a world where not too many want to do anything, for anyone, but themselves. Thank You Jesus.

If you were the only person in the world, He would have died for you. Just you.

Meditate on that while you are sipping your latte.

Palm Sunday

I think it is fitting for me to start writing my blog on this very holy day for christians. Being a Catholic Christian, this is the beginning of the end to the beginning. Makes no sense, right? Well, to me it does. I have been on a journey this lent. It's not about me giving up sponge candy all these weeks, or trying to be nicer to people who irritate me. It's about letting Jesus in.

Which we should do everyday. But we don't. We get busy with kids, jobs, laundry, paying bills, keeping up with the Smiths. And then we dump our tired bodies into bed and maybe, just maybe, we remember Him. "Thank You God. I got everything done. Sort of."

He created us. He loves each one of us so intimately. Not even your own spouse knows you the way He does. And we can't even give Him two seconds of our time.

So Palm Sunday is the beginning of the end of lent. But when lent ends, we begin new life in Him. He rose for us. The end of the story is not the cross. When He rose from the dead He won new life for us. When we die, we will be with Him forever.

Let's hope He remembers us, better than we remember Him. Let's pray together this week. Let's pray in the silence of our hearts. What if millions of us thanked Him for the gift of life, eternal life? Could we ever thank Him enough for suffering for us? No, but all He asks us of us is to make Him first in our lives. We can do that.

Give glory to Him in all that you do this week. Walk His walk. Then tell me you have no time.

If you were the only person on this earth, still, He would have died for you.